It's time to face the music.

This morning I woke up puzzled. All night I tossed and turned, and I can't blame it all on Hailey this time. (Even though she was sleeping next to me and kicking me in the back on a regular basis). For the first time, I dreamed about the wedding. It was really odd that I would dream about this now, after we decided that it's officially not happening. I wonder if my subconscious is trying to tell me something. In the dream, everything was going wrong... my future florist forgot the flowers, my future bridesmaids wore the wrong colors, my future husband saw me in my dress before the big parade down the aisle. Maybe it's my minds way of telling me that it's going to be okay that we aren't getting married. Not everyone fits into the traditional family and I have never been a traditional type of girl. So why do I even care if we aren't getting married and we have a daughter? Probably because of the constant social pressures, but I've never been one to crack under the pressure, so why start now? I am so satisfied with my life as a mommy, and I don't need a ring on my finger to feel secure about who I am. (Although I do miss its shiny reflections on a sunny day when I'm driving, and twirling it around my finger when I'm bored). So, after this dream I decided to officially inform vendors, bridal party, etc. of our decision to call off the wedding. It's a little embarrassing, but it has to happen. Life will go on and Hailey will be unaffected which is all that matters.